Since my mother “Donna Claire Crooke” passed away I’ve been feeling and sorting things out in my head. Knowing what to do with all those feelings and thoughts isn’t always easy. So I finally made a painting about my Mom that captured a bit of who she was. When I first showed it to a couple relatives I think they were very confused and maybe even upset by it.
The reality is that it captures some things about my mom that others probably never really understood. Over the course of her life she lost several children right after child birth. And while my Mom had two children that lived on and adopted others. She never forgot and never stopped feeling that loss. It was always a part of her. It sounds very morbid and sad, but there is something positive about this. I truly believe that all that loss is what helped shape my mother “Donna Crooke” into such a caring and forgiving person. As you may have read in my previous blog, she always opened up her home to strangers and she always forgave those that hurt her. It was like she had an Open Wound almost all her life and helping others was like a band aid. It’s a reminder to me that while I feel the loss of her and other friends and family that have passed away. Those losses are for a reason and that maybe I’m meant to be a bit of a more Open Wound and therefore more helping and caring. As far as the painting goes,”Look right in the center of it.” That orange outline is my mother looking down and if you look closely you’ll see some blue. That blue is one of the children she lost in child birth. The other blue pieces you see in the painting are her other children that she lost along her path in life. While there is great sadness in this piece, it changes under black light and looks like something different. It almost shows the strength that comes from weakness. Parts of this also glow in the dark and it’s a reminder to me how even when the lights turn off, there is something going on in our minds and lives. Making it black light reactive is to showcase that sometimes you need to shine a light on things to truly see what’s going on.
Thank you all so much for reading this post. It’s obviously something special to be able to share something about my mother with you. I hope to paint a very happy picture of my mother soon.