Every year when the holidays roll around many people get excited or at least pretend to. What I’m finding in myself is for about the past handful of years, holidays are REALLY STRONG reminder of something. That something is that I’m single and being surrounded by couples that are happily enjoying time together, sometimes pushes me in a very certain core way. I love my family and I’m very happy, honored, and blessed to have them. It doesn’t change the fact that I’m alone in a sense. I have God, family, and friends That’s more than many people have and I’m more better off living in America with an opportunity to chase down a dream of mine. All of that is true and yet it doesn’t change being alone. Something you read very early in the bible is God looking down and seeing Adam alone and God knows it’s not good for him to be alone. How can that not stick with someone when they read it? Holidays seem to be now a time of reflecting on all the mistakes I’ve made and why I’m now alone. I have no one else to blame but myself and that’s a fact. Over the years I chose to work a graveyard shift for 14 out of my 36 years of being alive. It’s probably not shocking that women aren’t crazy about being on a graveyard schedule. You can’t take a woman out to very many places a 3:30am, it just doesn’t go over very well. I guess one good thing is that it’s giving me inspiration for several paintings I’m working on. “All things work together for good to them that are called according to God’s purpose, to them that are called according to His name.” So I need to keep that in mind, while there is loneliness now it doesn’t mean it will remain forever. It might be and most likely is that I needed alot of work before I would be ready for the right woman. When I worked for the government I started listening to sermons all through the night at work. Not all the time, but sometimes it would be for long stretches, it was the only thing that kept me a little bit sane. Now I’m about ready to chase a rabbit trail in a story, I’ll save it for some other time. I know that I need to remember to be grateful during the holidays that I have so much family that really loves me. It’s easy to feel sorry for one self, but the truth is I should just feel blessed, because that’s exactly what I am. Blessed,saved,protected,provided, by God Himself and He is always with me. He withholds nothing good from me, all things in His perfect time. What are some of your thoughts on loneliness, God, holidays, any one or all of thee above?
The more I work on finishing a huge “to do list” I created months ago, the more free I now feel to just create. While creating is always the major goal in mind, it’s often put on the back burner with worrying one way or another about other things getting done. Without certain things out of the way it almost seems impossible to “give myself permission” to simply CREATE! I’m thinking now that everything that’s been going on with my “to do list” and working on creative art projects has been exactly what I needed. Everyone has a different “creative process” on how they get things done. For some people it might be much easier and maybe they don’t need lists to help remind them of what they need to do. What I’m learning is that I do and that’s alright, now I embrace it and it’s helping me with now working on video, making some tie dye, and finishing a few paintings. I also seem to like to make things in three or four it seems. It’s like I need something very serious to work on, very colorful, very spiritual, and then a inner random piece that I don’t really know how to explain. This helps me relax on each piece and helps me not feel a need to incorporate all those things into a single piece, but separate pieces and keep them honest. The more I make and the more I think about “the process” in itself, the more I am learning about myself and how much more work I need on me,lol. Everyone is a work in progress though and that’s why God doesn’t give up on us. He is always bending and shaping us into something useful for His Glory and that is a great thing to lean on. Hopefully in the next few days I’ll be able to share a handful of my new creations and you can see what comes out of all this random and structured thinking. Thank you for reading, you’ve just learned something about me Rosco “Carrico” Crooke and Carricocreations. What are your thoughts on freeing up time to get things done? What holds you back and what helps you move forward? Love to hear what’s going on in your head and life. God Bless “Carrico”
Right off the bat you know this is a serious topic for everyone. Even if you say you don’t believe in God, you know others do and that people “say” that their lives are because of Him. For me I know that every thing centers around Him in some way. While I stumble and fall around I know God is always there for me to help keep me on the path He has for me. If it weren’t for God I would wildly taking anything and everything from anyone I wanted to. There would be not type of moral code or standards that I would live by. Without a healthy fear of God what can possibly hold someone back? The idea of being moral has always been so foolish to me. It doesn’t even begin to make since without the thought of God behind it. So not only is God always there to help me up when I stumble and fall. He is also the one who I respectfully fear and that keeps me on a straighter path and keeps me out of trouble.
God is in every decision I make whether I include Him or not. He watches everything I do and He expects me to come to Him with questions and a looking for Wisdom and Knowledge all the time. He wants me to seek His instruction in the smallest of things I do. It might sound very childish in some ways, but I’m told to come to Him as a child. He is my Heavenly Father and it’s Him that I’m to seek all the time. He delights in the smallest of things we do for Him. He receives the weakest of things I do in Christ Jesus name as something great. He looks at it and is delighted! Being a Christian isn’t about not sinning and being moral. It’s about looking at God and searching after Him. When you do that you start to automatically separate yourself from sinning to be closer to Him. God isn’t about people locking themselves up in their rooms so they won’t go out and sin. He is about “living and doing for Him” It’s hard for everyone including myself to see the difference. Basically I’m trying to say with keeping God in mind all the time, life is so much higher and so much better for a bunch of different reasons. Without the knowledge of Him and all that He is and does. I would be going crazy attacking, stealing, and everything you can imagine. God is the only thing that keeps me on course and gives life real meaning. You’ve just learned something about Carricocreations and something about me Rosco “Carrico” Crooke and most importantly something about “God” Have a blessed day!
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