Struggling with my own emotions for years has always had me wondering how emotions change people over the long term. I’ve seen so many people change after the loss of a loved one in various ways. Death is obviously the one people think of the most when it comes to loss, but what about people growing up and moving on or breakup’s or divorce? These are forms of loss for many of us as well and they change us. I’m bringing up loss because when I think of “Emotions” this is the one area that most people understand as being “very emotional.” There is this struggle to not change after losing someone, the more I think about that I realize it’s impossible. People “reach inside you and take a hold of you” and that’s just a fact. When that person leaves “you don’t get to hold onto the part of you they have.” That piece now belongs to them and there isn’t anything you, me, or anyone else can do to change this. Anger, bitterness, jealousy, melancholy, pleasure, pain, and everything else are emotions we are are familiar with and we try to lock many of them away. There are correct times to feel all of these emotions!
I struggle with how people say,”don’t let that bother you, don’t worry about that, don’t let that get you down.” It’s as if we are constantly being instructed to “not feel anything!” I want to feel great, happy, joyful, and on top of the world all the time, but that’s not completely possible. There are moments that come along and “take a stand inside you.” If I try to ignore those moments it just ends up much worse later on. Emotions can be misleading very often, but they aren’t evil and they do have “VALUE” in our lives. The reality is that most friends and family just want everyone around them “at peace” and so they use words to try and make that happen. It takes a patient person to simply “walk with someone through there emotional upheaval.” Most people will not do this, they go into their default mode of “just make the person calm.” Sometimes calm and peaceful isn’t what you should feel. When there is loss, injustice, or evil going on our emotions should be quickened up.
I don’t want to explain this piece away, the people that it was meant for will understand the color and design. This much I will say, “Emotions metamorphosis is like a series of chaotic waves moving through us and changing at any moments notice. It’s filled with up’s and down’s, but as far as the shift in energy is concerned, it’s something that can’t be explained with words. So Art is really the only way of seeing it and making any sense of how emotions change and over time they change us.”
P.S. I know this post is very scattered, frazzled, and messy, but that’s part of the idea. Sometimes it’s good to be raw and all over the place for a bit. Not as a style of life, but without moments of heavy unrefined release we can sometimes collapse inside. I don’t want to collapse inside anymore, so now I do what I have to.
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Thank you so much for your time, Rosco “Carrico” Crooke